Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Finish Line

I am now in Stockholm feeling tremendously inedequate.  This city seems absolutely beautiful and I will probably see about 0.4% of it.  At least I can take solace in the fact that my hotel has good chai tea. 

I debated at length this morning over whether or not to stay in a hostel on my last night in Europe or splurge and get a hotel/ be alone.  I opted for the solitude.  I don't want to have to worry about some drunk 18 year old from Wisconsin snoring like a freight train while I lie in a crowded dorm room.  And the hotel I'm at is extremely nice even if from the outside it resembles something out of 1960's leningrad.   It is very modern and chique and has three bottles of mineral water for free in the fridge.  I promise I will never use the word "chique" again in my life. 

My last night in Åland turned out to be fairly exciting.  I went out hoping to meet some people I had been talking to on couchsurfing and just as I was about to give up and go home I ran into a girl who worked at a nearby cafe and who invited me to go out with her friends for the night.  Soon I was standing in line in my ratty Vans and vagrant-like beard waiting to get into Mariehamn's only night club whilst talking to "Jun", a Swedish-speaking Finn who would curse the music in the club repeatly and ask me on several occasions why on earth I liked the Vanvouver Canucks.  By the end of the night I spotted him at the bar, alone, swaying slightly and clutching a bottle of "Old Speckled Hen". 

The ferry to Stockholm was uneventful.  It was mostly a bunch of Finns feeling shopping carts to the brim with beer at the duty free shop.  In Åland the Swedish speakers don't even like the real Finns.  They regard them as wild and unrefined, which is interesting keeping in mind that they live in Finland.  The people I was hanging out with last night barely spoke Finnish, and said they had no real desire to learn. 

I will now go out and have dinnner and celebrate alone my last night of over three months of traveling.  The sun still hasn't set because it is almost midsummer and even though we're slightly further south than Finland it still by no means gets dark tonight.  And then tomorrow morning I will get on a flight to Frankfurt followed by a 10 hour marathon to Vancouver on Condor, an airline I'm still not wholly convinced exists.  But for now I'm going to enjoy Stockholm's wonderful gastronomy while hopefully not breaking the bank.  TGIF Friday's, perhaps?

Saturday, June 16, 2012

A Horrible, Horrible Blog Entry from a Beautiful, Beautiful Place


A minimum of 300 words.  In 10 minutes.  Or more if you want to take it.  I have started to force myself to write things becuase if I don’t force myself I won’t write about it.  I wanted so badly to write about my time on the sheep farm.  Matt was an interesting character.  He played World of Warcraft almost all the time when he wasn’t working and his feet were in a state of decay where if you were to slice a half inch layer off the bottom of his heels he would notice nothing except that maybe it would’ve been a little harder for him to reach the tea on the top shelf.  It was a disgusting, horrible, time and I’ve glad for every minute I spent there.  I need those horrible experiences to make me appreciate the good ones.  I need to work hard to fully savor the afternoon sloth of lying around on the couch watching the Euro Cup. 

Mariehamn, with about 10,000 people, is the capitol of the Åland region.  It reminds me of a cross between bainbridge island and ohio.  The library is wonderful – huge and open and well lit – and provides internet access free of charge to the public.  The breakfast at the hotel this morning was also wonderful: granola, yohgurt, fruit, cheese and bread, and an assortment of teas.  I chose the ”Kenya Estate Black Tea”.  If it is still there when I go back I will have another glass. 

I was supposed to go to Sweden today but there are no hostels open.  Or rather, there is one hostel open but it has very bad reviews (one critique seems to be that there are no sinks for brushing your teeth and you that have to use the toilet, but i think maybe I misunderstood).  The more I think about it, why would I leave this tranquil island paradise and go to a big city?  Because it’s Saturday?  Because I want to go to a ”nite” club and get my drink on?  This is not the case.  I want to lounge around and walk around and not have to be social.  I don’t want to have to worry about a drunk, cologne-doused french boy coming into the dorm room at 4am in the morning to wake everyone up and start snoring in french.  I know I sound old when I say this.  This is because I am old.  I am almost 29. 

So I think I will stay here another night.  And revel in the island life and maybe, maybe even buy a skateboard so i can enjoy the local skatepark.  This would be slightly stupid as skateboards are much cheaper and better back in the states, but I will investigate. 

I think my time here at the Åland library has expired.  Just in case you were wondering, the ”a” with the little dot over it is pronounced ”oh”, the same way we say ”o” in english in the ABC’s.  So now you knå!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Åland!

I am so happy to be in Åland.  It is exactly the kind of tranquil place I hoped it would be.  Actually it is even more tranquil, but that's about to change because the afternoon ferries are just getting in.  And these are no ordinary ferries.  These are cruise ships.  These make the Bainbridge Seattle ferries look like kayaks.

A lot has happened in the last 36 hours.  It turns out he is a benevolant God and has delivered me safely from the sheep farm.  When I finally achieved independence, when Matt and I parted ways and I drove his car back from the mechanic to the bus stop where he would pick it up later, it took several minutes for my new-found freedom to set in.  At first I just sat in the car, breathing heavily and silently pumping my fist.  And then I hit the highway, putting the windows down, blasting the radio, and seeing how his Citröen performed at 130 km/hr.  And then I started to scream.  "Freedom!" I shouted not unlike a young Mel Gibson.  And then I slowed down, made to the gas station, ate a meal of mashed potatoes and beef patties in gravy with a huge glass of COW'S milk and no mutton to be found anywhere in the immediate vicinity, and got on the bus.  And now I am here in Åland, an archiepelago between Finland and Sweden that is entirely Swedish speaking and doesn't even have Finnish on the streets signs.  I am ever so slightly easing my way out of Finland.  Maybe the shock would be too much for me if I just up and left.

Of course, as has been a theme for this trip, I currently have no idea where I'm staying.  I was offered a place by a girl on couchsurfing but she doesn't get off work till 10pm, has multiple facial piercings, a partially shaved head, and looks like she could beat me up.  But the other alternative is to pay around 100 dollars for a hotel.  I say I don't want to do this, but I actually really do.  I want privacy and solitude.  I want nothing more than to wander the quiet leafy streets of Mariehamn, main city in Ålando, well into the sunset and explore beaches and find food and not have to answer to anyone but myself.  Sometimes I can be a bit of a high maintencance traveler.  But I can also be low-maintencance.  I lived with a guy who seemed to derive great satisfaction from making me drive wooden posts into hard ground and who consistently played World of Warcraft in the afternoons for four days, after all.  So I think it's OK if I splurge for a night.  And maybe a night in Stockholm, too.

There is instantly a traffic jam before my very eyes.  An ambulance just drove by.  The tourists have brought chaos.  I just got done explaining to the ladies who work at the tourist agency that I also come from an island, and that every year it fills up with tourists, and I hate them.  "And now you're a tourist," they said.
"Yes," I said, and sighed and went to go use the internet.

It is beautiful here!  Beautiful!  The sun is shining and there are boardwalks on sloping rocks along the beach and plenty of coast to explore.  But first this tourist must find a hotel.  

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Keep the Bees, Hold them in Your Heart

The final installment of photos from my time on the honey farm in Central Finland.  Unfortunately I have no pictures of bees.  And only one picture of honey.  And almost no pictures of people.  This is why I don't take pictures.  

 Sunset from my cottage at the lake.
An evening row.  
 Probably shouldn't have clicked "X-tra large" on this photo.
 Chair to place towel on  for late night sauna sessions.  If you're swimming with clothes on it's not a real sauna.
 One morning when Madars was hungover I put a bear fence with car-battery attached to it around his front door.
 He LOOKS hungover.
 Irina and Marja.  Great cooks.  Leftover meals from the party.  We ate them for five meals straight.  By the end of the only thing I could stand were the meatballs.
 Ari:  beekeeper extraordinaire and one of my many nemeses.
 The road from my cabin up to the house.

 The honey on the left is the one we sacrificed our skin to produce.
 Korpilahti:  called "The Manhattan of Central Finland" by absolutely no one
 Annie, the Vietnamese WWOOFer, folding the boxes that were responsible for what might be mild carpel tunnel in my right wrist.
 Marja cooking with reindeeer.
Jake, the bearded hipster who claimed to be from New York but was actually from Iowa.  I would claim Iowa over New York in the beat of a heart.  

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Pictures From the Front

I am depressed. I am on a sheep farm.  I need to get out of here.  I'll explain more why later.

For now content yourselves with these pictures, courtesy of my friend Riitta (not a typo):

Me in downtown Korpilahti.
The chicks.
The old house at the Seppällä farm.  Where Irina (the Russian girl) lived.
The main house.  Jake and I.
Flying squirrel.
Lovely Riitta.  

Sunday, June 10, 2012

the 20 Most Common Things You Get Asked to Do While WWOOFing

(or actually 14)

Can you stack this wood?

Can you cut this wood?

Can you paint this wood?

Can you stack these boxes?

Can you clean these boxes?

Can you clean these dishes?

Can you stack these palettes?

Can you put these posts in?

Can you take these posts out?

Can you feed those animals?

Can you clean this shed?

Can you grab that tool from the truck?

Can you put this back in the truck?

Can you help me lift this?

Basically what I've learned is this: Take any object in vast quantities, clean it up, stack it in a big pile, build a fence around it and.... congratulations: you're a farmer!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Ship Shape Sheep

There is one question that is firmly fixed in my mind right now: What am I doing on a sheep farm 30km north of the nearest town with a guy named matt who hasn't shaved in several months and is into "hard fantasy novels"?  Of course, there are other questions on my mind.  Where are all the sheep?  Why were there two hares fighting in the field outside?  Why do none of the neighboring houses have lights on?  Why does everyone speak Swedish?  Why does Matt NOT speak Swedish?

I don't know if I will find the answer to these questions.  For now I must content myself with petting his two dogs Spirit and Jack who are currently splayed out on the floor by my feet and also with reading the new English novel I just bought at a department store in Pori, one of the most dead Finnish towns I have ever been to.  Answers should come when we start working tomorrow, giving the sheep water and putting fences into the ground to keep them from wondering.  I'm beginning to realize that a lot of farm work involves building fences.

Last night I stayed in Jyväskylä with a lesbian girl named Sani and an Argentinian couple who has been living in Kuopio.  We drank red wine and I think the Argentinian girl got a little tipsy because she was rolling around at length on the yoga ball and also talking about some kind of apparatus that would be like the "tingler" that's used for your head but instead for your entire body.  Basically she just wanted to have goosebumps all the time.  It was a little hard to understand.  I think at one point I suggested hanging nails from string and said the word "clavos" in Spanish.  The sun set very late.

Now I am in the computer roomm in Matt's house and he's downstairs watching some kind of fantasy series.  I really have no idea what the next five days have in store for me, but I figure at the very least A) a fair amount of loneliness and B) lots of Kiwi slang I don't understand.  I have caught myself just nodding yes to feign comprehension at least a few times so far when Matt has used expressions I don't understand.  Someone needs to tell people from New Zealand that the word "yes" is not pronounced "yis".

I can't believe my time at the bee farm is over already.  I can't believe that right now all the people I came to know and love are probably sitting down for a nice dinner, talking about the shenanigans from the day and who got stung and how the chicks are getting so big, and I can't believe that the American couple has moved into the cottage by the lake and taken over where I lived.  But I did need to get out of there at some point. I was ready.

And now I am ready for sheep.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Älä raavi!

I am currently sitting in the apartment of a Chilean guy who lives in the upstairs of a duplex 5km outside of the Finnish town of Jyväsklä.  Today was my last day at at the bee farm with Ari and Marja.  Marja and I made delicious meatballs made of reindeer and diced ham that I helped her to prepare.  We got fresh parsley and chives from the garden which we cut with scissors, then fried the meatballs and served them over buckwheat with tomatoes in vinegar and oil on the side.

But anyway, that's all over now.  I'm in Jyväskylä in the apartment of this Chilean guy who I barely know but who's really nice (he's one of the dudes in the 4H club who came to the farm the other day to experience Finnish farm life.  He accidentally left his jacket and today we met up so I could give it back).  We're drinking black tea and he's lamenting the lack of instructions in Spanish for the new wireless headphones he just got in the mail. He's had an interesting life.  His father abandoned him and his mother when he was little, he barely ever talks to his mother now who still lives in Santiago, he has no aunts and uncles, he's an only child, and his Finnish wife just divorced him.  Tough.  And he's unemployed.  But he doesn't seem down at all.  He seems fairly happy and carefree and in good physical shape doespite the fact that all he seems to do is play video games. He also speaks great Finnish, an area in which his lack of English has actully helped him since people are forced to speak Finnish with him instead of just switch over to English.  I just witnessed a conversation between him and his ex-mother and law dowstairs (she rents the place he lives) and was completely blown away by his fluency and comprehension.  But I guess he has lived here a few years.

In other news, three nights ago Ari and I transported almost a million bees.  We had 48 hives, each with about 20,000 bees.  And nothing between us and the bees.  No guard or protection.  No window.  No anything. Just us in the front and th bees in the back.  Luckily the bees are surprising tranquil when being transported.  First you hit them with the smoker so they think there's a forest fire and they go inside the hive.  Then once you have them in the car the engine sort of lulls them into tranquility.  They are a lot like infants in that way.  The noise of the engine is comforting (I like to think it reminds them of a really big mother bee) and the movement lulls them into a kind of daze.  When you get to your destination they crawl out groggy eyed out of the hive to look around, but they arent't looking to sting you.  they just want to check things out.

However, like an infant, as soon as you pick them up and physically move them they can get a little fussy.  And when your arm is wrapped around the entrance of the hive youre carrying things can get a little messy. At the third site we visited I was carrying one hive when all the sudden I felt the horrible flap of insect wings against my bare skin.  Immediately I knew that a bee had worked its way inside my glove and was now trying to get out and panicking.  When bees panic they sting, which is exactly what this one did, forcing its stinger into the straining muscle of my forearm. And instead of being able to just swat the bee off and run off into the woods screaming and lighting my hair on fire I was forced to gently put the box down, walk away from the hives, and then take off my glove before removing the stinger.  But by then it was too late.  The venom was in me.  And for the last two days my arm has looked like a balloon.

So I'm not as immune to bee stings as I thought.  One day Ari said "Mark was born to be a beekeeper.  I've never seen someone more naturally resistant." and  I basked in this praise until I realized there are a lot of factors with stings and I got a little bit lucky with the sting in the neck.  If the stinger goes into a muscle or a vein or deeper or stays in for longer, the results can be a lot worse.  And though I was a little sad to leave the farm, I have no problems with leaving the bees.  I will be fine if I never see the inside of a hive again.  I don't intend to be a beekeeper.  I'll stick with the animals that don't sting you like cats and dogs and chickens.

The Chilean is now playing some kind of online game with his cousin who lives in Norway.  The amount of tenchnology in his room is amazing. He's got a big screen TV and two laptops and his new state of the art headphones.  The sun is shining outside and tonight I'll meet the two Finnish girls I'm staying with who are also hosting an Argentinian couple for the night.  And then tomorrow I go to the coast to work on a sheep farm.  I'm ready to go home.  I wish I could just get on a plane to Seattle right now, but my plane doesn't leave Stockholm until the 18th. But for now I can enjoy this beautiful Finnish afternoon and the fact that the sun will shine until late.  And I have a temporary friend with whom to drink tea with and speak Spanish.

More to come soon from the coast.  Until then, älä ravi, it only makes it worse.  

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

A Hemingway Quote and Two Beekeeping Photos From Yesterday

"Two hours later Dr. Valentini came into the room. He was in a great hurry and the points of his mustache stood straight up. He was a major, his face was tanned and he laughed all the time.

'How did you do it, this rotten thing?' he asked. 'Let me see the plates. Yes. Yes. That’s it. You look healthy as a goat.'" -- A Farewell to Arms

 Ari inspects the bees while I look on.  "I think we'll be back at 4pm, so pack a lunch," he said yesterday.  We got back at 8:30pm. 
The last site of the day.  Molly, from New York, looks on as Ari operates.  I got shocked by the sheep fence in the left side of the photo.  Beautiful birch also on the left.  We ate fresh honey from these hives.  It was nauseatingly good and also just nauseating.

Now Im going to walk into town!  A beautiful reprieve!  6km or so!  And tonight an overnight trip with Ari that i am a little bit apprehensive about but im sure will be great!

Mark

Monday, June 4, 2012

Routine is Hyvää (Usually)

 I have sort of developed a routine which is pretty comforting.  Every day I wake up around 930 and walk to the house where I have granola topped with some kind of sour berry picked directly from the forest and fresh organic honey.  Then I feed the chickens.  This part I love.  I talk to them, and have been amazed by how much the chicks have grown since ive been here, about doubling in size.  If the black hen has layed eggs I snatch them from her and if not I give her a mean look that tries to convey that Im disappointed with production levels.  I have never been very impressed by the rooster.  Whenever I try to pet him he always cowers behind the hens.  What kind of man is that?

After this I usually embark on the morning task, which could be anything from going out with Ari in the Sprinter to do work at the bee hives or helping Marja to clean up the kitchen.  Today was a little bit strange because after helping Ari with the bees in the morning (see: standing, watching him) I spent the rest of the morning building a an electrified bear fence around Madders front door so that it would be the first thing he saw when he woke up from his hangover and stepped out the front door.  I didnt actually make it live but I did make it look like it was hooked up to a battery and even put the "high voltage" sign on it for good measure.  Either way I got some good pictures.  Then, this afternoon, Madders and I drove around looking for queens.  We had to search for the colonies to find the queens and then when we found them we'd put them in a new, unpopulated colony so that the former colony would start making more queens.  What I mostly did though was sit around and let the bees try to sting me, though a lot of my fear has left me.  I got stung today once through the suit but since the bee couldnt fully get its stinger in me it didnt really hurt.  It felt more like getting bit by an ant.

My time here is rapidly drawing to a close.  I have about a week left and then Ill probably make my way to Stockholm to get a flight home.  I have a very good feeling about the pacific northwest this summer.  I put my time in this winter so I plan to take advantage of the summer: cruising around Capitol Hill (the Hill!) on a penny board, slacklining at Cal Anderson, doing more yardwork, and generally trying to be the biggest hipster possible.

But things are also looking up here.  Im going to take a sauna tonight and supremely hope the american couple joins me.  And then maybe Ill go fishing again.  Or just lie in bed and read "A Farewell to Arms".  The blue, blue Finnish sky is the limit. 

Friday, June 1, 2012

Quote of the Day

"Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage...just 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery...and I guarantee you--something great will happen." -- We Bought a Zoo